Integrity is largely applicable
to our relationships with others. We rarely think of integrity when we ponder
how we relate to ourselves.
Loosely defined, integrity means truth that only you know;
it means being truthful to others even when you could totally get away with
lying since only you know the truth. It can become very difficult to lie to
yourself.
It’s true that the
power of denial is huge; we can deny almost anything we want to deny, but it
requires us to bury the truth deep inside. It can stay buried for years, even
decades, and causes us to become divided beings; eventually, we fail to ever
feel completeness of the self.
Burying the truth, any truth, no matter how benign, forces
us to disconnect the conscious from the subconscious. We divide ourselves into
two beings: the truth teller and liar, and a type of cold war begins between
our two half selves. To end this war, we must start being truthful to
ourselves.
An exercise in
integrity….
We need not get into a deep, philosophical project here;
your home yoga practice provides an easier option-so find a good spot that
allows you some privacy and step onto your yoga mat. Before you start moving
into your poses, set your mind in the same mode you would use when talking to
someone else.
When you talk to
someone else, you apply all manner of civility; you think carefully about how
you will say things, how you will describe their actions in order to be
supportive and to avoid being insulting. Show the same compassion and
understanding to yourself.
As you acknowledge yourself moving into and holding a yoga
pose, keep your approach less emotional and more analytical.
Instead of saying “this
is where I always screw it up...” or “this is where I start to suck at it…” say,
“this is where I start to lose balance…” this is where it starts to hurt…”
Then examine your position analytically instead of judgmentally;
look at yourself and determine where your feet are, which way your toes are
pointing, the position of your shoulders, etc.
Hold it right there
and then say: “this is where I start to observe what I’m doing instead of
judging myself”
Think in terms of “now, if I move my left foot this way…what
happens?” Make mental notes on what is happening physically, and don’t use the
pose to try to determine what kind of person you are. Trust that you are OK
being who you are, and just focus on the movement and how it makes you feel.
The more you practice
this way, the less judgmental you’ll be, while becoming whole again.
